Getting Personal

So, I'm writing a book. This really shouldn't be too surprising. I am a writing major, and by virtue of this term, I like to write. I also like to read. I also like to make out with people.

That is why, my first attempt at book-writing, is a memoir of make-outs. My life story to this point told through my kisses- firsts, worsts, fulfilling and... horrifying. It's funny because in writing class they teach you all about plagiarism and copyright laws- getting permission for using characters and all. They encourage us to use imagery, be sensual and daring. But they never talk about how you tell your dad you would prefer he not read your book. They don't talk about how you casually mention to your boyfriend's mother that she can just read a book to determine whether you've had premarital sex. They don't talk about how you have to think about every word, phrase, innuendo- and wonder whether you are going to offend someone or hurt someone's feelings.

I am probably going to have to change names. I might even have to change my own. I have no qualms about a stranger reading it- but it's the people I'm closest to that I'm worried about hurting. I guess I just have to do what feels right- just be as true to myself and the stories as I can. And just sort of give a middle finger to everyone else. Maybe that's the most important lesson to learn as a writer. All I know, is nothing is going to stop me from writing it. I'm 20 pages in, and just finished kiss number 3. We'll see how it goes.

Please, feel free to offer any suggestions. Like how to save my personal life.

I think...

The reason I haven't blogged too much is because I have been too future oriented recently that I haven't just lived in the moment. I used to be very moment oriented, back in the day. I used to not care in repercussions, I used to make bad decisions. I was sort of wild, off the chain. And then, I met a boy. A boy who made me want to think about the future and do well for myself. And maybe even start making those hard life choices. A boy that changed me, and put me in the place that I needed to be in.

A senior. An adult. A real person in the real world.

Excuse me for continuing my "look towards the future" blog posts, I know they're probably getting old. But it's all I can think about. It's New Years anyways, give me a break. I finished my application today for a graduate-type program that would round out my "blank slate" year post graduation. And The Boy asked me one of those big life questions- which I said yes to. And no, not marriage.

But it's coming together- this future. In infinitely small baby steps, but obvious ones.

SO! My plan, my resolution, my goal: Enjoy the rest of my senior year. Find a way to get back into the moment and spend time with the people who matter to me. Have more girls nights at Faegan's with Katherine and Janae. Take advantage of the free gym at the University. Go to the gay bar with Royce. Spend a whole day with a Say Yes to the Dress marathon. Lie out in the middle of the quad at 2 a.m. on a school night with Alex. Enjoy California Spring Break. Order Chinese with Kelly. Play friscup Sleep late. Learn the piano. Go on adventures to Ithaca. Make bad choices. Make life changing ones. It's the end, and I'm staring down the barrel of the gun. And I swear to god my only resolution is to just make it count.