The Usual Suspects

I expect change, constantly. I expect myself to make things happen, to be spontaneous and to change my way of life. But something about being home just makes me fall back into old routines, old frustrations and old ways of life. But such is hometown life.

This summer I have been adamant about making things happen and retaining my spunkiness, even in the face of a boring summer. I landed a nice catering job, have been hanging out with my friends near daily and have already gone on some ridiculous road trips. I think I'm breaking out of the funk.

But I seem to be alone.

When my mom moved back to Cheshire, it was to be with her mother- my ailing grandmother. She came her to be a nurse, to provide company and to rebuild her relationship with her mother. Things I can totally respect. She uprooted her family once again to take care of her mom. But I'm worried she isn't taking care of herself. It's a routine, every day. The same routine. Wake up at 6 a.m. Go to work until 5. Come home. Watch the news with Mom. Eat dinner precisely at 7. Walk the dogs. Watch a movie with Mom. Fall asleep. Repeat.

I came to Cheshire this summer to spend time with my family, and rebuild my own relationships with my parents. But she is so hesitant to break out of her funk. I have suggested going out for icecream. Going on a walk on the bikepath. Going to a local classical music concert. She rejected every one. "I want to spend time with my Mommy," she would say. And I would silently agree with this sentiment, and then wonder why her time with her mother was so much more important than her time with me.

Maybe I am being selfish and unreasonable. She wants to spend time with her ailing mother before she runs out of time. But I don't think she's letting herself live. I'm worried she has fallen in a funk and it's not one I know how to get her out of.