With a Clear Eye

I'm sitting in the Link Computer lab working on a powerpoint presentation for this Saturday. I finished what I can get done for tonight, but the damn butterflies won't go away. I am nervous- I will admit it. I think I just care so much about this organization, and I care so much about being a part of it, that it is starting to make me nervous thinking about it being in the hands of anyone else. I think time shall tell on that one- in fact, I will know in less than a week.
It is something I can deal with, losing. As long as it means losing to a person who will really do a better job than me. And if that is what my brothers want, then I am okay with it. I will not go inactive or freak out, or disown everything I've worked at. I will keep my head up, because I don't know how not to be a part of the chapter. Weird to think about though.
I think I'm really starting to understand timing. People have their moments- it's a fact of life. I discussed it a little in a prior post and it seems to be a theme of the semester. I really have been having my moment. My friends have become more than best friends, I'm doing more than decently in my classes, I had a great semester with my frat, and I've got this amazing guy to hold and kiss me at the end of the day. And I really don't need anything more than that.
If it is not my moment to take on the head of APO, that means it is someone else's moment, someone who might need it more than I do.

This post is not me giving up. I am working my ass off to become the next president because I want it, and I think I would do the best at the job. I am just ready for anything, and I am ready to prove to the world (okay, not that far) that I want this not because I deserve something good- but because I really care. I really friggin care. And I will fight off nerves and sour thoughts, because that is what it will take. Bring it on, Saturday :)

xx