Living Life to the Max

I just spent the last hour or two perusing the website of none other than Tucker Max. He's the guy who wrote the book "I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell". I've been casually reading it every time I take the bus in to work and inevitably arrive 10 hours before my shift actually starts. If you haven't heard of him, he's the guy who drank you under the table and then cursed you out, slept with you and not only didn't call you the next day- but ditched you immediately post coitus, or got you kicked out of a Denny's/McDonald's/other highly-Americanized chain that really needn't have to kick people out.

Basically, he's a fucking asshole- and he is really proud to admit it.

An excerpt from "The Absinthe Donuts Story"

10:20: We station ourselves in the kitchen. A fat girl walks in. It's game time. "Well, say goodbye to all the leftovers."

10:21: Apparently, this fatty seems to think she can hang. The Medina Division made better tactical decisions:

Fatty "What did you say?"
Tucker "Can you not hear me? Are your ears fat too?"
Fatty [Look of astonishment, stares at my friends cracking up] "EXCUSE ME?"
Tucker "I'm sorry. Really I am. [I open the fridge] Would you like cheesecake or chocolate cake? Probably both, I'm guessing."
Fatty [Turns and leaves in utter astonishment]
Tucker "Hey Sara Lee, I was only kidding! COME BACK HERE--MY FRIEND LIKES TO GO HOGGIN. MORE CUSHION FOR THE PUSHIN! IT'S LIKE RIDING A MOPED!!"

Tucker has arrived.

Okay, I should probably hate this guy. We all should. But I seriously respect him. He just OWNS it. I'm not saying that I like him, and though the dickish behavior is slightly alluring to me (Long, psychological fucked up story for a different night), I definitely would never give this dude the time of day. But he knows what he's doing, what he wants, and he does/gets it. And I'm really cool. Mildly sucks he devotes the talents to getting seriously drunk and having sex with tons of women, and not doing something more... socially acceptable? But hey, he's got a law degree so all I can do is give him my props and let it go.

Check the website out here. Happy readings.